Trying This Again???

I wonder how many times I have to start and stop training before I actually stick with it??? Once again I have fallen off the wagon and once again I am disappointed in myself. I love running and one of my goals is to actually train for a marathon, so why can't I stick with it long enough to actually accomplish my goal?? It's so frustrating.

I find myself making excuses for why I can't run, but the fact is it's just plain laziness. I really can't run outside - there is nowhere to run near our house and I would be running in the dark if I drive somewhere and do it either before the kids wake up or after they go to bed, so my only option is to run on the treadmill. I would much rather run outside, but the treadmill is going to have to do. That is one of my excuses as well - I don't like the treadmill, so I'll make excuses to not run on it. I can come up with any excuse in the world and they all seem plausible in my head at the time. But, when it comes down to it I am only sabotaging myself and not setting a good example for my kids. I don't want them to learn to give up on things and take the easy way out. That was the example that was set for me my whole life and now I am following in that same pattern. I don't want to be that type of person!

I want to be someone who accomplishes my goals. I don't want to talk about my marathon goal forever and not follow through on it. But, as of right now I am all talk. I am almost 35 years old and have had this goal for at least 5 years now, but I am nowhere closer to it than I was 5 years ago. That is pathetic.

I tell myself that I want to lose weight but when I don't see the results quick enough I give up. This time around I'm not even going to concentrate on weight. Yeah, that would be a nice benefit, but my ultimate goal is just to be healthier and to set a good example for my kids. I want to run a marathon and once I accomplish that maybe even run it with a good time. But, the first hurdle is to actually complete one.

Baby steps, baby steps - that's what I have to keep reminding myself. I set these huge goals for myself and tend to give up because they seem overwhelming. I first need to meet smaller goals in order to build up to the big one.

Here are my current goals:

Be able to RUN a 5k in 6-weeks time (I need to start training all over since I basically gave up again and will be starting from scratch)

Be able to run a 10k in 12 weeks time (this is definitely do-able and as long as I can stick with my training I should be able to go straight from 5k training to 10k training)

I would like to run in the Flying Pig at the beginning of May. Right now I'm not going to set the specific race goal for that one. I would like to at least be able to do a half-marathon, but depending on how training is going, maybe even the full marathon. I will re-evaluate this goal in 12 weeks.

So, by February 1st I want to have my goal accomplished of being able to run a 10k. That will be the beginning of racing season again and I can start entering some races and gearing up for the Flying Pig.

My ULTIMATE goal would be to qualify for and one day run in the Boston Marathon! Wouldn't that be awesome! I can just picture my husband and kids there cheering me on. What an awesome example that would be for my kids! Okay, but lets not get ahead of ourselves here - remember, baby steps for now. I don't want to overwhelm myself and give up again :)

I am going to start prepping myself to get back in running mode. Gonna dig out my ipod shuffle and download a few songs tonight. I plan on doing my first run on Saturday morning. I'm also going to keep track of weight and inches. While I'm not going to concentrate on losing weight I have gained WAY too much weight and just need to overall get healthier. I'm hoping that running will be an added boost for that and I just want to keep track of where I am in all things.

I'll let you know how things go.